Allie and Shellie-Ann
As a Florida legislative political candidate, Allie Braswell’s focus was on bringing people with different perspectives together to find common ground. Braswell, 62, and an expert in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) and building relationships, had no illusions that bringing people together would be easy. And it wasn’t. It would be a former state legislator from the other side of the aisle who would surprise Braswell with a moment of inclusivity after Braswell’s cherished wife, Shellie-Ann, died unexpectedly in 2021.
He was approached after a business function; Braswell and he were not friends. “He said, ‘I heard you lost your wife. I know you’re a man of God, so I think I can share this with you; you lived up to your vows and it’s okay to live. Life’s not easy on a widower. I know, I am one.’”
Those words proved to be a beacon for Braswell who characterized the advice as what “bridged all the craziness.”
Shellie-Ann and Allie married after a decade or so of being co-workers at the Urban League where Allie served as CEO. After he left the position, their friendship blossomed into romance.
Their differences were strong – Shellie, who held both bachelors and masters degrees in International Affairs from Florida State University, was a proud Jamaican woman who was vigorously joyful and engaged in community activism. Allie, a very proud former U.S. Marine, was serious and focused on business.
“She was a motivator; she believed in me,” he said describing what he loved best about his wife. When they married, the couple created a blended family with each bringing three children into the relationship. While their new family unit had its challenges, they lovingly referred to themselves as the “Braswell Bunch.”
“You’ve got a Marine and a Jamaican woman in the house; there are going to be some verbal tugs of war,” he joked. “Our life together was not perfect, but it was perfect for us.”
Braswell noted that during one low point in his career after overcoming financial obstacles related to a business project that didn’t work out, Shellie continued to “believe in me; she always believed in me when others didn’t.” Braswell says she made and kept the promise she made to him. “I’m never going to let you not be your best self.”
Shellie was also “incredibly bright, very, very much opinionated, strong-willed; I knew she wasn’t going to tell me what I wanted to hear.” He added, “She was confident in her own skin and that was what endeared her to me.”
Shellie-Ann Braswell was a proud Jamaican woman married to a very proud Marine.
Their life together was “busy and energetic” as Shellie advocated for numerous community issues and pushed her husband to become engaged as well. Rarely did Braswell interact with others without including a reference to Shellie-Ann at some point.
But their happy life together literally collapsed on Thanksgiving morning in 2021. As the couple hustled through the early hours juggling the whereabouts of their six kids and other family members, Shelley went upstairs to shower and dress for the holiday. Allie stayed downstairs watching the Macy’s parade waiting to see if the U.S. Marine Corps Band would be marching. He added that whenever the Marine Corps hymn was performed, he would stand at attention, which Shellie-Ann thought “was crazy.”
After a while, Braswell ventured upstairs because Shellie, known for being slow to dress, hadn’t come back down. “I found her on the floor in the bathroom.” Braswell immediately began CPR. Shellie’s three young girls entered and witnessed their stepfather working to save their mother’s life.
“I was doing CPR and talking on the phone to EMTs, and I didn’t stop until they arrived. They could not resuscitate her,” he said describing the scene. “I can remember holding her hand, talking with her, and praying with her. I prayed to God and asked him to take me and leave her.” Shellie was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead three hours later.
“They just could not regain a pulse to even move her to life support. There was no bringing her back.” Braswell was holding her hand when she passed. “I just kissed her whole face and kissed her goodbye.”
Shellie’s cause of death was a brain aneurysm. Braswell was “devastated.”
“I don’t remember much of anything for about a week or so, but I was never left alone so the support from friends and family was tremendous. I felt like somebody had run a pole through the center of my chest; that’s what the pain was like. But there comes a time when you must be alone with the rollercoaster of emotions you go through.”
Braswell says Shellie was buried with a tiara similar to what she wore on their wedding day. Her wedding dress is preserved for her daughters. After her funeral which drew more than 500 friends and dignitaries from the community and across the nation, Allie took bereavement time and later headed to south Florida to mourn and find respite. Upon his return to Central Florida he tested positive with the COVID-19 virus. The isolation and recovery from the virus forced Braswell to “deal with death. I cried a river. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I was so angry.”
Not long after, Braswell decided to relocate to the couple’s home in northeast Florida, and while on a phone call from his home office where he was preparing to sell their Orlando house, he spotted a baby deer in his yard staring at him through the window. He recalled seeing baby ducks outside their home, which are said to appear and represent someone transitioning from life to death. Braswell remembered how Shellie-Ann loved animals and suddenly his yard was brimming with them. “It was the coolest thing,” he said smiling and adding, “Those are the things that helped me get through.” The ducks visited every day as Braswell continued coordinating his move.
Braswell remains profoundly grateful for grief counseling, sessions that he credits for getting him “on track” and helping him find a way to speak about Shellie’s passing.
“It helped because I think the best words the counselor gave me were that it’s “okay to say she died and it’s okay to say that death bothers you. For me, the nice, soft, fluffy words don’t bring the finality.”
“As men, we try to be super tough and all that…”
After Shellie’s death, Braswell remained actively engaged in the community serving on local boards and working on civic issues. He also made a run for a seat with the Florida legislature.
“I needed to stay busy, and I ran in the district because she believed in that community. She loved Winter Garden. Shellie would not want me to ball-up in a corner and cry myself to death. I can hear her saying ‘Get on out of here and go do something; I’ve got you.” Like any political run, the campaign had its difficulties, and Braswell didn’t win. But throughout the campaign he made no secret that he knew Shellie-Ann was behind him all the way.
Braswell learned lessons losing Shellie-Ann, including that he is part of a “crazy fraternity that no one wants to join — widowers.” Within six months after Shellie’s death, three of his friends became widowed. “As men, we try to be super tough and all that, but when you lose your soulmate, that person closest to you, only someone else who has been through it can truly relate to the hurt you’re going through.”
That’s why Braswell remains appreciative to the former legislator who approached him. “We were just two human beings experiencing the same hurt. He had gone through it and felt it was okay to come over and encourage me.”
Braswell recently remarried, believing that his bride Lashantah was sent by Shellie to provide him comfort and end his despair. Together, the couple continues to honor and celebrate Shellie with their own focus on building community. With the help of Lashantah, he recently launched his new company specializing in strategic DEI and community engagement consulting.
“I did not expect this to happen, but I go back to the words of my political friend and my pastor – it’s okay to live. You’ve got to live. And that doesn’t mean just existing.”
Braswell is known for being thoughtful in his decision making. “You’ve got to decide where you are in the journey; you can’t let society be your barometer. There are no metrics as to how long you should wait. You have to give yourself permission to live. I’m not letting Shellie-Ann go. There’s no replacing Shellie; this is just a new chapter.”
