WHY NEW CHAPTERS?

New Chapters is about the experience of losing a spouse; the unanticipated situations and moments that accompany this particular life event. Of course, all loss of life is difficult but this project is rooted in my own heartache – the passing of my husband, Barry Brady, after our 37 years together.

So absorbed in my own mourning that when I posted a vague announcement about this project I was flabbergasted by the immediate and overwhelming response. Unknowingly, I touched a nerve. Friends – both from my real life and my social media network – reacted quickly, emotionally and supportively. As a result, the momentum of this website was jump-started. It is with big enthusiasm, bigger trepidation and a forever broken heart that I launch New Chapters.

During the years that I cared for Brady (I’ve always called him by his last name) and after his passing, it seemed like an unusual number of friends and acquaintances lost their spouses too. Everyone’s circumstances were different yet sadly familiar. Each of us had been drafted into the uncomfortable community of grief, profound sorrow and trying to figure out was to come next.

While some say that our society doesn’t discuss grief, I have found the opposite. After the global loss of life during the COVID-19 pandemic, it was clear that grief is a universal experience and one that people do want to talk about. Based on the stacks of pamphlets, books and resources that were sent to me by caring friends, it was also clear that much has been written about it. In spite of all the information I received, nothing really clicked. I needed something more tangible; specifics about what to expect and how to take that next step without Brady by my side. The Deputy (how I referred to him on social media) was a law enforcement officer so over the years, we had plenty of conversations about what to do if the unthinkable happened to him on the job. Thankfully, he was able to enjoy a long and happy retirement before he passed. Still, many things happened that I didn’t see coming, much of which was just awful, painful, and totally confusing. But there have also been heartwarming, comforting and humorous moments as well. Perhaps most unsettling was not understanding what is normal in terms of how I am feeling at any given moment.

This site is about all of that and what others have experienced and learned so we can all be better informed and prepared. New Chapters is literally a work in progress and intended to be a welcoming forum for anyone in the same situation and searching for a nugget or more of information, perspective or a touch of inspiration. My hope, too, is that it proves helpful when you just don’t know what you need. Most especially, my intent is that visitors find strength.

Returning to my experience as a journalist, I spent the last year capturing love stories of people I know as well as strangers who wanted to share their experience. I asked questions with diplomacy, curiosity and compassion. I admit that I didn’t realize that I was all over the place in the beginning. I put the project on hold and came close to nixing it a time or two. But because the people I’ve talked with have shared their stories with remarkable candor, love, anger, sorrow and even some humor, I was able to reimagine, refocus, and, frankly get more confident about actually doing this. So here we are.

This site’s purpose is to function as a destination for comfort, camaraderie, connection, soul lifting, laughs, joy and, yes, hope. I know it is helpful to talk about grief. This is also to be a place that celebrates the resiliency of the human spirit and of course — big and good love.

New Chapters is a love letter to Brady; he was a helper and would appreciate this effort. Hopefully, this site will become a destination for comfort, connection, soul-lifting and a place for hope and well, new chapters.

THIS WAS US